BREAKING: Following declining poll numbers for Kamala...
Aug 14, 2024 18:47:22 GMT -5
Post by ExquisiteGerbil on Aug 14, 2024 18:47:22 GMT -5
BREAKING: Following declining poll numbers for Kamala Harris, the WHO declares a global emergency over the monkeypox virus
GENESIUS TIMES
Exavier Saskagoochie
August 14, 2024
NEW YORK—Following a sharp decline in Vice President Kamala Harris’s poll numbers, the World Health Organization (WHO) has declared a global emergency over the monkeypox virus.
The announcement came after a week of dismal polling for Harris, whose approval ratings have plummeted to new lows despite her recent efforts to laugh her way through tough questions. The timing of the WHO’s declaration has led some to question whether the global health body is using monkeypox to distract from the Vice President’s faltering public image.
“Monkeypox is a serious threat that requires immediate global attention,” said WHO Director-General Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus in a press conference, looking notably stressed. “This virus has spread far beyond our expectations, just like the Vice President’s laugh. We must act now.”
While WHO officials insist that the declaration has nothing to do with Harris’s poll numbers, conspiracy theorists and Twitter pundits have been quick to draw connections between the two.
“It’s just too convenient,” said one anonymous source. “Kamala has a bad week, and suddenly monkeypox is back in the news? Come on.”
Harris herself responded to the news with a carefully crafted statement that was, unsurprisingly, punctuated by her signature laugh. “Look, folks,” she said, chuckling between words, “we’ve been through pandemics before, and we’ll get through this one too. Just like we’ll get through these polls.”
The Vice President’s team is reportedly considering using the monkeypox emergency as an opportunity to reframe Harris’s image as a “war-time VP” who can “lead the nation through anything, even a global health scare that may or may not have been conveniently timed.”
In Washington, insiders say that the Biden administration is already brainstorming ways to leverage the monkeypox crisis to boost Harris’s approval ratings. Ideas include a new ad campaign titled “Monkeypox: We’re In This Together” and a special televised address where Harris will discuss the virus while dodging tough questions about her policy positions.
Meanwhile, social media is ablaze with memes comparing Harris’s poll numbers to various infectious diseases. One particularly viral post reads, “Kamala’s approval rating is lower than my immune system after a monkeypox diagnosis.”
As the world braces for what the WHO has dubbed “an unprecedented monkeypox emergency,” the Vice President’s supporters remain hopeful that this crisis could be the turning point Harris needs. However, critics are skeptical, noting that the last time a politician’s poll numbers were tied to a global emergency, it didn’t end well for anyone involved.
In the meantime, the public is left to wonder: Is this just another case of bad timing, or is there something more sinister at play? Only time—and perhaps another conveniently timed global emergency—will tell.
link
GENESIUS TIMES
Exavier Saskagoochie
August 14, 2024
NEW YORK—Following a sharp decline in Vice President Kamala Harris’s poll numbers, the World Health Organization (WHO) has declared a global emergency over the monkeypox virus.
The announcement came after a week of dismal polling for Harris, whose approval ratings have plummeted to new lows despite her recent efforts to laugh her way through tough questions. The timing of the WHO’s declaration has led some to question whether the global health body is using monkeypox to distract from the Vice President’s faltering public image.
“Monkeypox is a serious threat that requires immediate global attention,” said WHO Director-General Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus in a press conference, looking notably stressed. “This virus has spread far beyond our expectations, just like the Vice President’s laugh. We must act now.”
While WHO officials insist that the declaration has nothing to do with Harris’s poll numbers, conspiracy theorists and Twitter pundits have been quick to draw connections between the two.
“It’s just too convenient,” said one anonymous source. “Kamala has a bad week, and suddenly monkeypox is back in the news? Come on.”
Harris herself responded to the news with a carefully crafted statement that was, unsurprisingly, punctuated by her signature laugh. “Look, folks,” she said, chuckling between words, “we’ve been through pandemics before, and we’ll get through this one too. Just like we’ll get through these polls.”
The Vice President’s team is reportedly considering using the monkeypox emergency as an opportunity to reframe Harris’s image as a “war-time VP” who can “lead the nation through anything, even a global health scare that may or may not have been conveniently timed.”
In Washington, insiders say that the Biden administration is already brainstorming ways to leverage the monkeypox crisis to boost Harris’s approval ratings. Ideas include a new ad campaign titled “Monkeypox: We’re In This Together” and a special televised address where Harris will discuss the virus while dodging tough questions about her policy positions.
Meanwhile, social media is ablaze with memes comparing Harris’s poll numbers to various infectious diseases. One particularly viral post reads, “Kamala’s approval rating is lower than my immune system after a monkeypox diagnosis.”
As the world braces for what the WHO has dubbed “an unprecedented monkeypox emergency,” the Vice President’s supporters remain hopeful that this crisis could be the turning point Harris needs. However, critics are skeptical, noting that the last time a politician’s poll numbers were tied to a global emergency, it didn’t end well for anyone involved.
In the meantime, the public is left to wonder: Is this just another case of bad timing, or is there something more sinister at play? Only time—and perhaps another conveniently timed global emergency—will tell.
link
