Taylor Swift's Cats Endorse Trump
Sept 12, 2024 21:27:32 GMT -5
Post by maybetoday on Sept 12, 2024 21:27:32 GMT -5
Taylor Swift's Cats Endorse Trump
Politics
·
Sep 12, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
NASHVILLE, TN — Hot on the heels of their global superstar owner's public announcement that she was supporting Kamala Harris for president, Taylor Swift's cats issued a press release endorsing former President Donald Trump.
While the news was a stunning deviation from the pop star's own endorsement, a Swift insider revealed the singer's cats — Meredith Grey, Olivia Benson, and Benjamin Button — were heavily swayed by Trump's pledge to protect pets and other small animals from being abducted, killed, and eaten by bands of marauding Haitian migrants.
"This election is about what kind of country we want to have," Benjamin Button said in the announcement. "Do we want to have a country where your beloved animal companions are stolen and eaten by migrant gangs? Or do we want a country where dogs, cats, ducks, and geese can live in safety and prosperity? As a cat myself, I am voting for the latter. I'm voting for Donald Trump! Meow!"
Benjamin Button's fellow cats in the Swift household stood with him in solidarity.
"I don't trust that Kamala Harris mrrrrrow," said Olivia Benson. "I have no confidence whatsoever that she would take any steps to protect us from being devoured by Haitians. Plus, she's against the Second Amendment. As a gun-owning cat, that's an automatic ‘no' from me. Rrrow!"
"We know Taylor will be disappointed by our endorsement," admitted Meredith Grey, weathering a customized "Make A-meow-ica Great Again" baseball cap. "But we've been kicked to the curb enough since Travis Kelce came along, and we're fed up. Trump 2024! Hssssssss!"
At publishing time, a Swift insider speculated that Taylor's cats had been spending more and more time hanging out with Brittany Mahomes's Trump-loving dogs.
link
Politics
·
Sep 12, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
NASHVILLE, TN — Hot on the heels of their global superstar owner's public announcement that she was supporting Kamala Harris for president, Taylor Swift's cats issued a press release endorsing former President Donald Trump.
While the news was a stunning deviation from the pop star's own endorsement, a Swift insider revealed the singer's cats — Meredith Grey, Olivia Benson, and Benjamin Button — were heavily swayed by Trump's pledge to protect pets and other small animals from being abducted, killed, and eaten by bands of marauding Haitian migrants.
"This election is about what kind of country we want to have," Benjamin Button said in the announcement. "Do we want to have a country where your beloved animal companions are stolen and eaten by migrant gangs? Or do we want a country where dogs, cats, ducks, and geese can live in safety and prosperity? As a cat myself, I am voting for the latter. I'm voting for Donald Trump! Meow!"
Benjamin Button's fellow cats in the Swift household stood with him in solidarity.
"I don't trust that Kamala Harris mrrrrrow," said Olivia Benson. "I have no confidence whatsoever that she would take any steps to protect us from being devoured by Haitians. Plus, she's against the Second Amendment. As a gun-owning cat, that's an automatic ‘no' from me. Rrrow!"
"We know Taylor will be disappointed by our endorsement," admitted Meredith Grey, weathering a customized "Make A-meow-ica Great Again" baseball cap. "But we've been kicked to the curb enough since Travis Kelce came along, and we're fed up. Trump 2024! Hssssssss!"
At publishing time, a Swift insider speculated that Taylor's cats had been spending more and more time hanging out with Brittany Mahomes's Trump-loving dogs.
link
