Letter to "Dear Abby"

[J.J.Gibbs]

Dear Abby,



I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas, who has been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus.



My parents live in Fort Worth and have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana.



They are financially dependent on two of my sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.



My other sister, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite.



I have two brothers; one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994, my other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.



I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute and part time "working girl" who lives in Longview.



All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.



Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary Clinton for President?



Signed,



Worried About My Reputation